Do “Day Of” Wedding Coordinators Really Exist?

I hear this all the time…”I just want you to show up for 8 hours on the wedding day and make sure everything goes right so I don’t have to.”

There’s a mis-understood job out there….the “day of wedding coordinator”….I’ve been doing this for 30 years and I can honestly say, that is not a job that exists, or should exist, if someone makes it up. Here’s the reality.

First, in order to “show up” and “make it happen” we have to know exactly what is supposed to happen. We cannot “know” without some studying because every couple wants something different. Homework and studying is vital, and that takes time in advance. Expecting a day of wedding planner to know what to do means they need to do the homework.

Next….have you ever tried to manage a team you’ve never talked to? I wouldn’t do it. Building a team on your wedding day is truly vital so that everyone is working together, with the same goals and timeline, communicating effectively, and trusting the leader. That takes some time and effort, again in advance, to get it right. And I cannot stress enough the importance of choosing a trusted team of professionals…you just cannot put your money and trust into an unknown vendor, without the right recommendations behind him or her. I promise you, it goes wrong all the time.

And finally….how many weddings have you planned? Hopefully only this one. As a rookie, you are learning along the way. What would happen if you tried to drive a car the first time with no teacher? A little jerky? A few dents? A train wreck? Or what happened the first time you went grocery shopping all by yourself, way back in college? You grabbed the box of mac’n’cheese but forgot the milk, and you probably went way over budget. It was part of the learning process. Do you want your wedding to be the same learning curve? You only get to do this once, and on your day everyone is watching. Having a “day of coordinator” show up and use your timeline and work with your seating chart with no advance training or guidance…just screams problems.

Again, advance planning and expert guidance is vital. You might be worried about a day of wedding coordinator cost, but imagine the cost of a problem you can’t resolve or the time it will take to resolve it.

Stop asking for a “day of coordinator” and start asking for a “wedding manager”. You can still be your own wedding planner, but trust the services of a wedding manager who has the experience, education and contacts to put you on the track for success. Your big day is too important to make it your test drive.